feel very tired, also moderately to extremely waterlogged
wish the rain would fall in amounts less copious

coming progressively closer to 100 hits, though 'when was i not'
can't wait until the day on which i will meet the number 100
then, surpassing it,
move progressively farther from it

feel like this will lend my life some meaning


but what about meaning

when faced with the absurdity of life in an indifferent universe, why/how does one find meaning?

when faced with the absurdity of life in an indifferent blogosphere, why/how does one find meaning?

feel uncomfortable asking such questions
feel mildly to healthily afraid of being perceived as a 'pseudointellectual bro who's down for a 'deep' conversation about philosophy'

celebrating my first comment
feel like i've entered a new era
like maybe i've realized a very significant/monumental goal

feel moderate success permeating my being
feels warm and fuzzy like cliches do

feel as if my spirit has been lifted
also feel a slightly to mildly vague feeling of validation

feels difficult to maintain a consistently serious facial expression due to "bein' smiley"

thinking i need to up the quality
thinking i need to blog about more relevant things
thinking i maybe am not sure what things are relevant these days
feel out of touch with culture, like i 'live in a bubble' where all that's relevant
is taking slow shallow breaths and hoping the surface tension holds
would blog about taking slow shallow breaths but that
is relevant to me and me alone

feel like it's been a while since my last post
"is that a bad thing"
considering enigmatically stopping
then people maybe will rediscover my blog when it's gone
admire my prolific number of posts
maybe set up "tribute/memorial" blogs
maybe a blog devoted to "tchtchtchtch exegesis"

feeling conflicted,also like i "need a lot of money"

feel like maybe my blog needs more statistically relevant and demographically appealing charts, also some sociologically significant pictures

currently have 24 hits
i think that's 24 more than most blogs do
feel a sense of accomplishment
feel mildly to moderately hungry,
but also like i don't have time to eat//am busy blogging/checking statcounter/also commenting on blogs

just checked stat counter again
now have 6 hits
feel slightly better about myself
feel like i may be breaking the niche
maybe breaking it all the way through to the mnstrm
feel good again
feel urge to document my ups and downs in an increasingly repetitive manner, also fairly to relatively constantly

beginning to think that in order to get lots of readers i should tackle serious issues
also in order to retain readers i should make them feel involved
feel like i should include them in my posts
make them feel welcome, also comfortable and also as if their opinion is valuable

////////////////////

am currently experiencing a dilemma i feel is very deep and also universal/very common

i want to be happy, but i also want others to be happy
also want to not be a bad person
how do i do this

believe myself to be among the elite few who are self aware enough to address such an issue with unwavering confidence and also a proper level of seriousness, also unironically

feel like many to most other people are incapable of helping me out here
hope that maybe someone can help

how can i be happy
also not a jerk

according to stat counter i have a total of 5 views so far
feel like this means:
-i have really reached an audience
-maybe i am making it big time
-maybe i have a blog future
-maybe i am bloggable afterall

feel like i am well on my way to becoming a blogosphere fixture
maybe i will become viral
maybe life is looking up

hope i am not just a niche though
hope i am universally appealing
feel like life is potentially looking up, but also potentially down
feel like i need some time alone

wish i had more readers
wish they were people i don't know
wish this weblog were going places
wish i were going places (is it more grammatically correct to use "was"/don't know)
feel like i have no future
feel like i fall into being one kind of person in public interactions
when in reality i am not that person and also maybe kind of despise that kind of person just a little
feel like i am entombed in drywall, also do not have a way out///is that considered a legitimate feeling/metaphor

afraid/worried that there may be some confusion as to "the purpose of this blog"
afraid that people will think i am "trying to be funny/witty/maybe cute"
feel like clarification is necessary///am 35-67% sure that maybe this will not seem as necessary within the next 2-387 hours/will feel "dumb"

this blog just is my internal monologue/thoughts/i don't know an appropriate name, written down as it happens
don't think it actually means/tries to be anything/"it is not sentient anyway"

just over a day of blogging
one follower
probably zero readers
maybe i should blog about what i am doing
and not how i feel

maybe

am currently in the process of feeling noncommittal
am feeling similar emotions to those i would feel if i were halfway over a fence, with one leg on each side
crotch/thigh pain excluded (is that an emotion)

am feeling ambivalent
is ambivalence different from neutrality
i don't know

feel like maybe what i need to do to get readers is possibly drugs or something
feel like all the cool kids do/did them
feel like if i am cool then people will maybe read my weblog
feel like maybe i could become established as a permanent fixture in the weblogosphere if that happened

feel like the content and language of my posts is very repetitive

addendum to below

feel like this follower is one of those people who follows everyone
feel less international/present in the blogosphere than i did previously
feel like maybe i will keep blogging about my deep insightful opinions
and also my emotions/how i "feel"

hey i have a follower

his/her (i don't know which yet) name is
"opinion cubana"

i feel like i don't know any people from cuba
does this mean i have "broken through" to the blogosphere
does this mean i have gone international

feel like the future is maybe a little bit brighter

(feel like maybe the key to becoming a fixture of the blogosphere is to generate actual/typical content/talk about life events/write something "creative")

-----------------

feel like i won't fit in at my college
because everyone else is a bro

feel like they like to party/drink
but i will drink alone or something, if at all

feel like i am not going to have very many friends
but maybe the education will make up for it

feel like the only one majoring/minoring in my fields of study
because everyone else is into sociology/psychology

feel like people who are into those fields
are probably pseudointellectuals

feel like their facebook pages list interests that aren't their real interests
but are calculated to fit into the sociology/psychology student archetype (ie the pseudointellectual)

feel like they say they like things like "people" or "life" or "philosophy"
or that they are "a walking contradiction"/"very deep"/"interesting"

feel like if i did this i would maybe mean it as a sarcastic jab at this type of person
but they are not self aware enough to be capable of this sort of thing

feel like i am too interesting/unique/self-aware for friends next year

feel obligated to update this in order to justify my internet/blogosphere presence
feel like i should seize the day, but in blog form
is there a latin phrase for that
probably not
portmanteau proposition:
carpe bloggem
feel as if that was dumb/not very creative



feel like i maybe make alot of posts all the time

does quantity make up for quality?




i hope not since i have no readers
going on less than twelve hours since b(log)irth

how the hell do you do one of those crying frowny guys

:'(

is that it
feel like he has a mole

hi
it's me again


don't know who i am talking to
considering using the popular blogging site "tweeter" but i don't have any followers
or an account for that matter

feel like i am underrepresented on the internet
feel like more people should be aware of me/my exploits

feel like more people should be aware of my likes
feel like more people should be aware of my dislikes
feel like more people should be aware of my facebook page that yields very little information

wish that people would be intrigued by the cryptic personal info section on the aforementioned facebook page
maybe acknowledge my blogger presence

feel tired
feel neutral
feel neutral re neutrality

feel like i probably feel like this all the time
feel neutral re the above statement