celebrating my first comment
feel like i've entered a new era
like maybe i've realized a very significant/monumental goal

feel moderate success permeating my being
feels warm and fuzzy like cliches do

feel as if my spirit has been lifted
also feel a slightly to mildly vague feeling of validation

feels difficult to maintain a consistently serious facial expression due to "bein' smiley"

feel like my blog maybe kind of sucks just a little bit
but also like i should "just keep pushing" for reasons that elude me
but are definitely and undeniably tied to getting "a large amount of hits"

maybe the desire for "mad/many hits" is more than just a need to feel "acknowledged internationally"/"world famous" via internet

maybe "going viral" is more than just a petty schoolboy dream

think on some level maybe shakespeare/miscellaneous greek and roman people wanted to 'go viral'

you know how we infer the existence of black holes via their effect on other things
feel like i have a thought with similar properties

ie i don't know it yet but i am aware of its presence
and if i can think it then maybe i will gain insight re going viral

feel a vauge feeling of neutrality re neutrality, also neutral feelings of vagueness re vagueness

feel hazy sensation of wanting to go home, but am currently home

is this teenage angst

hope not

thinking i need to up the quality
thinking i need to blog about more relevant things
thinking i maybe am not sure what things are relevant these days
feel out of touch with culture, like i 'live in a bubble' where all that's relevant
is taking slow shallow breaths and hoping the surface tension holds
would blog about taking slow shallow breaths but that
is relevant to me and me alone

just checked stat counter again
now have 6 hits
feel slightly better about myself
feel like i may be breaking the niche
maybe breaking it all the way through to the mnstrm
feel good again
feel urge to document my ups and downs in an increasingly repetitive manner, also fairly to relatively constantly

wish i had more readers
wish they were people i don't know
wish this weblog were going places
wish i were going places (is it more grammatically correct to use "was"/don't know)
feel like i have no future
feel like i fall into being one kind of person in public interactions
when in reality i am not that person and also maybe kind of despise that kind of person just a little
feel like i am entombed in drywall, also do not have a way out///is that considered a legitimate feeling/metaphor

just over a day of blogging
one follower
probably zero readers
maybe i should blog about what i am doing
and not how i feel

maybe

am currently in the process of feeling noncommittal
am feeling similar emotions to those i would feel if i were halfway over a fence, with one leg on each side
crotch/thigh pain excluded (is that an emotion)

am feeling ambivalent
is ambivalence different from neutrality
i don't know

less than a day into blogging
still no followers
feel very emotional
but also nondescript/neutral
feel very tired
maybe this is what the 21st century should feel like
do millenials feel emotions
don't know

feel like i need some followers
feel like that isn't a legitimate emotion

feel like it is now