celebrating my first comment
feel like i've entered a new era
like maybe i've realized a very significant/monumental goal

feel moderate success permeating my being
feels warm and fuzzy like cliches do

feel as if my spirit has been lifted
also feel a slightly to mildly vague feeling of validation

feels difficult to maintain a consistently serious facial expression due to "bein' smiley"

think maybe i should blog about real life events:

1. as effective as it is at protecting our garden, i wish that deer repellent spray
did not include/smell like "extra musky coyote urine" and "putrified egg solids"
crave clean air

2. seems like maybe not everyone at college 'is a bro'
like maybe four people aren't
feel anxious, also optimistic and vaguely excited for the future

3. it's currently raining
feel vague feelings of hope, as if maybe the rain will wash away my woes
(and the horrible smell)

4. afraid that maybe nothing is happening in life/will revert to blogging about feelings

currently have 24 hits
i think that's 24 more than most blogs do
feel a sense of accomplishment
feel mildly to moderately hungry,
but also like i don't have time to eat//am busy blogging/checking statcounter/also commenting on blogs

my mom just tried to convince me that eating dinner was a meaningful and authentic experience
can't believe she tried to turn my favorite popular blog memes against me
can't believe my parents
wish that they got/understood me
feel odd/disappointed that i came from their stock

feel bad for their/my genes
feel like i will never break 5'8"///if i did i would be the tallest in my nuclear and also extended family
feel like shit
feel like maybe i won't be viewed as "hip" or that new "indie" thing due to my genetic predisposition toward large calves///i can't wear skinny jeans
:'(



feel sick inside
like maybe i could throw up in my mouth a little
except i have acid reflux (genes again)
and this is more or less normal behavior

don't know how i feel about this

according to stat counter i have a total of 5 views so far
feel like this means:
-i have really reached an audience
-maybe i am making it big time
-maybe i have a blog future
-maybe i am bloggable afterall

feel like i am well on my way to becoming a blogosphere fixture
maybe i will become viral
maybe life is looking up

hope i am not just a niche though
hope i am universally appealing
feel like life is potentially looking up, but also potentially down
feel like i need some time alone

sometimes i think that i am a "very creative" person
but i don't feel comfortable referring to myself as such
maybe if i created more/more meaningful things i could feel comfortable
but am afraid of judgment/mildly to moderately harsh peer review/at what level of acclaim can you consider yourself a "poet/artist/other legitimate creative figure"

feel like maybe i should be more open about my feelings
but hide behind a cloak of ironic meta references, etc
feel like maybe openly referring to my own tactics will make people think i am using them, or maybe think about what i feel/say/do/think
feel like i don't know which feelings are mine and which i pretend to have
and, if i pretend to have them,
why would i do that///seems stupid

wish i had more readers
wish they were people i don't know
wish this weblog were going places
wish i were going places (is it more grammatically correct to use "was"/don't know)
feel like i have no future
feel like i fall into being one kind of person in public interactions
when in reality i am not that person and also maybe kind of despise that kind of person just a little
feel like i am entombed in drywall, also do not have a way out///is that considered a legitimate feeling/metaphor

don't really know what to think
don't really care about anything anymore
don't really feel like my life/my friends/my favorite activities mean very much to me///wish they did/i am not "pumped" or "stoked" for any event or other applicable noun associated with any person/place/thing anymore
don't really feel as if my definition of "meaningful experiences" is aligned with that of other people
don't really feel like "mating w/ famous and/or attractive people"
don't really feel like "getting so wasted"

just feel like "chillaxing" on the roof/other meaningful part of a typical house or apartment complex
or maybe in the woods
just feel like exchanging practical and tactical hellos with people i know moderately to very well

just over a day of blogging
one follower
probably zero readers
maybe i should blog about what i am doing
and not how i feel

maybe

am currently in the process of feeling noncommittal
am feeling similar emotions to those i would feel if i were halfway over a fence, with one leg on each side
crotch/thigh pain excluded (is that an emotion)

am feeling ambivalent
is ambivalence different from neutrality
i don't know

feel like maybe what i need to do to get readers is possibly drugs or something
feel like all the cool kids do/did them
feel like if i am cool then people will maybe read my weblog
feel like maybe i could become established as a permanent fixture in the weblogosphere if that happened

feel like the content and language of my posts is very repetitive

(feel like maybe the key to becoming a fixture of the blogosphere is to generate actual/typical content/talk about life events/write something "creative")

-----------------

feel like i won't fit in at my college
because everyone else is a bro

feel like they like to party/drink
but i will drink alone or something, if at all

feel like i am not going to have very many friends
but maybe the education will make up for it

feel like the only one majoring/minoring in my fields of study
because everyone else is into sociology/psychology

feel like people who are into those fields
are probably pseudointellectuals

feel like their facebook pages list interests that aren't their real interests
but are calculated to fit into the sociology/psychology student archetype (ie the pseudointellectual)

feel like they say they like things like "people" or "life" or "philosophy"
or that they are "a walking contradiction"/"very deep"/"interesting"

feel like if i did this i would maybe mean it as a sarcastic jab at this type of person
but they are not self aware enough to be capable of this sort of thing

feel like i am too interesting/unique/self-aware for friends next year

hi
it's me again


don't know who i am talking to
considering using the popular blogging site "tweeter" but i don't have any followers
or an account for that matter

feel like i am underrepresented on the internet
feel like more people should be aware of me/my exploits

feel like more people should be aware of my likes
feel like more people should be aware of my dislikes
feel like more people should be aware of my facebook page that yields very little information

wish that people would be intrigued by the cryptic personal info section on the aforementioned facebook page
maybe acknowledge my blogger presence

feel tired
feel neutral
feel neutral re neutrality

feel like i probably feel like this all the time
feel neutral re the above statement