feel like my blog maybe kind of sucks just a little bit
but also like i should "just keep pushing" for reasons that elude me
but are definitely and undeniably tied to getting "a large amount of hits"

maybe the desire for "mad/many hits" is more than just a need to feel "acknowledged internationally"/"world famous" via internet

maybe "going viral" is more than just a petty schoolboy dream

think on some level maybe shakespeare/miscellaneous greek and roman people wanted to 'go viral'

you know how we infer the existence of black holes via their effect on other things
feel like i have a thought with similar properties

ie i don't know it yet but i am aware of its presence
and if i can think it then maybe i will gain insight re going viral

think maybe i should blog about real life events:

1. as effective as it is at protecting our garden, i wish that deer repellent spray
did not include/smell like "extra musky coyote urine" and "putrified egg solids"
crave clean air

2. seems like maybe not everyone at college 'is a bro'
like maybe four people aren't
feel anxious, also optimistic and vaguely excited for the future

3. it's currently raining
feel vague feelings of hope, as if maybe the rain will wash away my woes
(and the horrible smell)

4. afraid that maybe nothing is happening in life/will revert to blogging about feelings