this is my presence in the blogosphere section of the world wide web

hello/plug

2010-09-28T19:47:00.001-04:00

does anyone still read this? seems unlikely

i have a new blog

i talk about pop music in a familiar/friendly manner

http://allyoursummersongs.blogspot.com/

have a nice day!

2009-08-22T03:13:00.006-04:00

THE TENTATIVE MOTION MOTHERFUCKERS

There are little bits of grass on the floor, and also little bits of dirt. There might be little bits of bugs in the little bits of dirt, and also little bits of hotdog buns. The walls are moderately damp. The air has an undeniable and palpable weight to it. Men are standing in their sports uniforms in a circle. They are moving their limbs jerkily, and running in place a little bit. They are doing this in order to indicate that they are "pumped," or, rather, to communicate the sentiment of "being pumped." Some of the men move to the rhythm of "Eye of the Tiger," which is playing in their heads at slightly different tempoes. No one really notices. One man moves his arms in a "pumping motion" in order to indicate that he is "pumping." He shortly changes to the jerking of the others because he is done "pumping." He is "pumped". They are "pumped". There is a camaraderie in the air for all who are "pumped", and it is proliferated to the same degree as the humidity. The men take in their camaraderie. The men are further "pumped," and are propelled beyond the previous level to which they were "pumped."

2009-08-21T03:14:00.002-04:00

feeling aggressive acid reflux symptoms
find it difficult to swallow/i must swallow every few minutes or i will feel uncomfortable and awkward
feel uncomfortable and awkward

2009-08-20T17:44:00.011-04:00

this is an excerpt from my memoir
it's a work in progress
it's called

SHITHEADS

"I think that you are full of shit."
"What?" Christian distracted himself with the menu of a trendy bistro. "Oh, okay" kind of leaked out of his mouth as Charles's statement sank in.
"I think that you are full of shit and you are a fucking lunatic." The pitch and overall intent of the words were consistent with Charles's neutral facial expression, but not with the words themselves.
"I know, I heard you," and he had.
"Oops." Charles's cheeks flushed for some reason. He put his fingers near his mouth. He discreetly looked at his armpits.
"What would you folks like tonight?" The waiter's cheerful facial expression didn't belie his stealth.
"I'm tired," thought Charles, but instead he said "I want a goddamn centipede." The waiter nodded and wrote it down on his hand. Christian turned into an alien and said something in an alien language and the waiter wrote it down too. Then the waiter turned into an alien.
"Turn into an alien or I'll kill you" said an alien who was walking by.
"I think that you are full of shit." The alien's feelings were hurt and he turned back into a poodle or something. Christian alien guy also turned normal.
Charles looked at Christian, and noticed that he had little bits of dandruff in his eyebrows. He wondered if the dandruff was eyebrow dandruff or head dandruff that fell into Christian's eyebrows. Charles wondered what would happen if dandruff was alien shit, and then an alien was taking a shit on Christian's head. Charles looked away. There was alien shit on Christian's head when he looked back, and also on his eyebrows. Charles didn't know if the alien had shitted directly onto Christian's eyebrows or if he had taken a shit on his head and it dripped down.
"Hey here's your food, bye." kind of fell out of the waiter's mouth like lower case letters and he set down a plate of waffles for the two rascals.
"Thank you" said an elderly woman who was talking on the phone.
"You're welcome" said the phone; Charles was on the phone with the elderly woman. The waiter had three faces now. They all had the same mouth, which continued around the whole head. Christian would have wondered what would happen if the waiter opened his mouth, but he had an alien on his head and he was also pretty tired. The waiter's left face wore a very grim facial expression and grunted. The other faces didn't do anything.

2009-08-16T13:35:00.002-04:00

remember this blog
feel obligated to update it
possibly vintage now
been like a blog decade since i updated it or something
is it relevant still
probably not

2009-08-07T03:17:00.003-04:00

oh no
missed a day of posting

wonder about a world without vowels/too bad 2012 is the last year ever/we will not live to see a world without vowels

2009-08-05T14:27:00.001-04:00

feel depressed
went from 27 hits a day to 2 hits a day
worried about my internet presence
am i obsolete
am i no longer relevant
don't know what to do

2009-08-03T23:35:00.003-04:00

i struggle to so much as wonder what my niche is

considering branching out into the world of mp3-blogging
the airfields are a good band
so are moscow olympics
they make good tunes
you should listen to them

that seemed strangely unfulfilling
will go back to blog-blogging

2009-08-03T13:19:00.003-04:00

feel very tired
pretty sure i feel like this all the time
why do i have 150 hits
this is depressing content

wondering about the state of the blogosphere
causes me to feel more lethargic

wish i was one of those people who
felt angsty, wrote poems
feel like anything i write is basically
a blog post about being tired

feel too tired to even tag this post

2009-08-02T23:39:00.006-04:00

feel like at or near midnight is my most common blogging time
i feel dry and empty re bloggable tidbits

hard to believe it was just one week ago that i was a veritable font of creativity,
spewing forth variations of "feel neutral" or "feel tired" up to seven times a day
now i struggle to do so even once

wish i could identify with someone
googled "famously tired people"
a fruitless endeavor

maybe i am unique
considering expressing self via non standard clothing and music choices

2009-08-02T00:05:00.002-04:00

feel ambiguous feelings about my shameless cry for more hits
on popular web log hipster runoff
feel moderately good, but also like a sell out
got six extra hits so far, but also sold my honor
don't know what to think/feel/say/do

2009-08-01T22:51:00.006-04:00

thought i would feel validated at 100 hits
like a valuable asset of the weblogosphereiverse

feel neutral

when do i not/is this a surprise

maybe i need more hits
feel like the guy behind the 'save toby scam' circa 2005

2009-08-01T21:08:00.003-04:00

right now i am living in the moment!
right now it is exhilarating!
right now my right forearm is itchy!
right now my stubble has reached a length of approximately 5 eights of an inch!
right now i think i should maybe shave, but possibly go the bearded route!
right now i think that is 'a dumb idea'!
right now envy me right now!

2009-07-31T16:50:00.002-04:00

realized that my blog posts can be turned into 'quirky/marketable short stories' by simply replacing 'i' and other related pronouns, etc., with an animal of my choice
feel like this could be a new gimmick

-------------

the story of reginald the street savvy wombat

reginald the street savvy wombat woke up today.
reginald the street savvy wombat wombat didn't brush his teeth.
reginald the street savvy wombat forgot to put in his retainer last night, so he didn't have to take it out.
reginald the street savvy wombat's time spent on dental hygiene was kept to a minimum today.
reginald the street savvy wombat procured a single stick of trident brand chewing gum with xylitol, and began chewing the single stick of trident brand chewing gum with xylitol.
reginald the street savvy wombat felt a slight craving for breakfast, then, upon encountering the prospect of 'having to cook' quickly abandoned this craving.
reginald the street savvy wombat checked his email and was unfazed by the conspicuous absence of important messages, as it was only 8:30 AM.
reginald the street savvy wombat wished he had a job.
reginald the street savvy wombat reached into his pocket and took out his wallet.
reginald the street savvy wombat felt a little bit sad and also 'like he needed a job'

2009-07-31T16:31:00.003-04:00

feel very tired, also moderately to extremely waterlogged
wish the rain would fall in amounts less copious

coming progressively closer to 100 hits, though 'when was i not'
can't wait until the day on which i will meet the number 100
then, surpassing it,
move progressively farther from it

feel like this will lend my life some meaning

but what about meaning

when faced with the absurdity of life in an indifferent universe, why/how does one find meaning?

when faced with the absurdity of life in an indifferent blogosphere, why/how does one find meaning?

feel uncomfortable asking such questions
feel mildly to healthily afraid of being perceived as a 'pseudointellectual bro who's down for a 'deep' conversation about philosophy'

2009-07-30T15:30:00.005-04:00

feel like some kind of allegory
can't think clearly/elaborate at the moment
feel weather related lethargy setting in

feel like i might not make my daily quota of 4-17 posts
feel like i am letting my legion of undying fans down

2009-07-29T21:53:00.009-04:00

the trunk dwelling man

the trunk dwelling man lives in your trunk. the trunk dwelling man eats the invisible airborne food particles that waft out of grocery bags through inhalation, like a basking shark. the trunk dwelling man has a special set of filters so that he can maintain a strict vegan lifestyle. the trunk dwelling man plays your instruments when you leave them in the car. the trunk dwelling man picks up your things and puts them precisely where you left them. the trunk dwelling man can't over heat. the trunk dwelling man breathes exhaust, but he also breathes regular air. the trunk dwelling man tells your mom when you swear in the car.

2009-07-29T21:50:00.007-04:00

the story of josephine the snapping turtle

josephine the snapping turtle buys you size large t shirts because she wants you to be muscular and macho, but she doesn't want to tell you. josephine the snapping turtle finds your size small t shirts and donates them to good will. sometimes josephine the snapping turtle buys you muscle milk. you don't drink it, but she buys more anyway. the muscle milk piles up by the laundry room because it doesn't fit in the fridge anymore. you have a fridge filled with muscle milk from 2005, as well as a hallway filled with muscle milk from 2006-9

2009-07-29T21:10:00.006-04:00

feel vague feelings of hunger
feel like the last time i ate was ~15 minutes ago/seems 'nonsensical'
feel like substituting catharsis for hunger///this is how i feel right now:
--------
one morning lawrence woke up to a gelatinous disc pounding weed whacker rhythms in his head. lawrence got up and made a cup of coffee, then threw it out and made tea because coffee instigates his acid reflux. his dog barked, and lawrence kicked his face in. his dog's face was kicked in. lawrence put him on the couch. he was dead. lawrence went to his room.

his brother entered his room with a maglite brand flash light and wanted to hit him with it to see if it hurt.
"shut up or else i will kill you" lawrence said.
"what?" he replied. "oh."
"shut up" lawrence said, and so did his eyebrows
"i know"
"oops"
he left, and lawrence went downstairs. the dog was still there, and he was slightly bloated with gases and things. lawrence petted him and then went outside and climbed a tree. then he took the train into the city with two of his friends. lawrence felt depressed so he told one of his friends that he needed to go to the bathroom and throw up.
"can you wait a while? there isn't one nearby" she said
"yeah, i guess i can hold it in" lawrence said
his other friend didn't say anything
about fifteen minutes later they found a bathroom and lawrence went inside. lawrence felt awkward and made a few half-assed attempts at gagging, then washed his hands in the sink and paced around. as an afterthought, he put water in his hair and on his skin so it looked like he had been sweating, and he flushed the toilet.he spun around a few times to create the illusion of disorientation, then left the bathroom stumbling.
"are you ok?" his friend asked
"yeah i guess" lawrence said
"did you throw up?" she asked
"a little"
lawrence went home early and sat alone on the train. when lawrence got back home, the dog's ribs were poking through and his muscles showed in certain places.

this morning lawrence woke up and there was a squirrel on his window sill. he looked like an alien and lawrence sat extremely still under the covers for a few minutes. lawrence eventually got up and then sat on the floor for a number of hours with a worried facial expression hoping someone would look in and ask what was wrong. this ultimately proved a fruitless endeavor and lawrence retreated downstairs again. the dog had decayed and now he was an affectionate red spot on the couch. lawrence ate a cup of yogurt and read the newspaper.
----

i think that lawrence is probably 'me', and the dog is my strained relationship with croissants

2009-07-29T20:33:00.001-04:00

feel the need for a cathartic creative expression of my internal turmoil, but also like i don't have any internal turmoil to speak of

feel like the bro from l'etranger, except like a poorly interpreted version of him seen through the eyes of an unenthusiastic high school sophomore with a substitute teacher who majored in math or something since the real teacher got pregnant and couldn't teach second semester

2009-07-29T20:24:00.005-04:00

celebrating my first comment
feel like i've entered a new era
like maybe i've realized a very significant/monumental goal

feel moderate success permeating my being
feels warm and fuzzy like cliches do

feel as if my spirit has been lifted
also feel a slightly to mildly vague feeling of validation

feels difficult to maintain a consistently serious facial expression due to "bein' smiley"

2009-07-29T17:32:00.004-04:00

feel like my blog maybe kind of sucks just a little bit
but also like i should "just keep pushing" for reasons that elude me
but are definitely and undeniably tied to getting "a large amount of hits"

maybe the desire for "mad/many hits" is more than just a need to feel "acknowledged internationally"/"world famous" via internet

maybe "going viral" is more than just a petty schoolboy dream

think on some level maybe shakespeare/miscellaneous greek and roman people wanted to 'go viral'

you know how we infer the existence of black holes via their effect on other things
feel like i have a thought with similar properties

ie i don't know it yet but i am aware of its presence
and if i can think it then maybe i will gain insight re going viral

2009-07-29T17:21:00.002-04:00

feel a vauge feeling of neutrality re neutrality, also neutral feelings of vagueness re vagueness

feel hazy sensation of wanting to go home, but am currently home

is this teenage angst

hope not

2009-07-29T15:35:00.006-04:00

think maybe i should blog about real life events:

1. as effective as it is at protecting our garden, i wish that deer repellent spray
did not include/smell like "extra musky coyote urine" and "putrified egg solids"
crave clean air

2. seems like maybe not everyone at college 'is a bro'
like maybe four people aren't
feel anxious, also optimistic and vaguely excited for the future

3. it's currently raining
feel vague feelings of hope, as if maybe the rain will wash away my woes
(and the horrible smell)

4. afraid that maybe nothing is happening in life/will revert to blogging about feelings

2009-07-28T14:55:00.005-04:00

thinking i need to up the quality
thinking i need to blog about more relevant things
thinking i maybe am not sure what things are relevant these days
feel out of touch with culture, like i 'live in a bubble' where all that's relevant
is taking slow shallow breaths and hoping the surface tension holds
would blog about taking slow shallow breaths but that
is relevant to me and me alone

2009-07-28T13:45:00.005-04:00

feel like it's been a while since my last post
"is that a bad thing"
considering enigmatically stopping
then people maybe will rediscover my blog when it's gone
admire my prolific number of posts
maybe set up "tribute/memorial" blogs
maybe a blog devoted to "tchtchtchtch exegesis"

feeling conflicted,also like i "need a lot of money"

2009-07-27T17:56:00.002-04:00

feel like maybe my blog needs more statistically relevant and demographically appealing charts, also some sociologically significant pictures

2009-07-27T17:03:00.003-04:00

currently have 24 hits
i think that's 24 more than most blogs do
feel a sense of accomplishment
feel mildly to moderately hungry,
but also like i don't have time to eat//am busy blogging/checking statcounter/also commenting on blogs

2009-07-27T16:59:00.004-04:00

feel as if i maybe should update this more,
but also feel moderately to extremely self conscious
feel like people think i am "trying to be funny"
feel like people maybe make fun of me for
not possessing such an enviable attribute as "funniness"

2009-07-26T20:56:00.006-04:00

feel like maybe writing a shitty story is a good way to get readers somehow
feel like this works for deviantart/livejournal gals

bill was walking down the street. bill is a street-savvy teenager with a sharp wit and an equally sharp tongue. bill has dull fingernails because he practices "good hygiene" and clips them regularly. bill has dark hair and moderately pale skin.

harold? was also walking down the street. harold? is also a street-savvy teenager who possesses all of the physical traits that bill does, as well as a sizeable portion of his emotional and mental traits.

bill and harold? do not know each other. harold? does not know that bill has a pet pig. harold? does not know that bill's pet pig is named loaf. harold? does not know that when bill is not home, loaf likes to use facebook chat to send bill's friends the :putnam: emoticon.

bill doesn't know this either. bill believes that there are few to no emoticons that can sufficiently communicate the complex and disturbing emotions of a self-aware and existentially minded pig.

loaf is a depressed young soul with a soggy nose and a springy tail. bill will never have any meaningful contact with harold?. harold? will never have any meaningful contact with loaf. loaf will never have any meaningful contact with anything but the white truffle that haunts him in his dreams
---------------

feel like loaf is maybe a symbol for me, but also like that is a cliche/painfully obvious thing to think

2009-07-26T11:32:00.000-04:00

feel like maybe i am losing my touch
pretty sure this is the first time i've let more than a day pass between posts
feel like this had a detrimental effect on readers
need to be more efficient
need to be more consistent
need to be more meme friendly
need like a million readers
need to be a meaningful part of the blogosphere

2009-07-25T08:15:00.008-04:00

feel like maybe i should move into the occult/new age niche
feel like alot of people are into that sort of thing these days

here's a dream i had last night:

i am at college, but it resembles my elementary school. i am walking roughly one foot from the fence which surrounds the baseball field. there is a turkey hanging by his or her talons on the fence. i walk over to the turkey and attempt to free the turkey. the turkey punches me in the face. the turkey takes out a cigarette and puts it in his or her beak. the turkey looks at me sternly. i light the cigarette for the turkey. the turkey sits there smoking for about fifteen minutes. the turkey looks at me again, also sternly. the turkey punches me in the face again. i run away

feel like this might mean something
feel like previous attempts to get readers to comment were a rousing success
want readers to comment
want readers to tell me what this means
have a vague theory that it is somehow related to getting a job and/or blogging
feel like my life consists of various events/visions that are somehow related to getting a job and/or blogging

2009-07-25T00:32:00.001-04:00

just checked statcounter again
now have ten hits
feel like i've reached a new level of blogstardom
feel like i owe my readers a big thank you
feel eternally grateful
feel like they should maybe write in the comments one favor i owe them and maybe if i really want to i might consider possibly doing it
feel so good now
feel like i am "king of the blogosphere"
just want to maybe dance around or something
don't know how to describe my feelings

feel like maybe hits don't matter so much anymore
considering maybe not making a new post for each hit

2009-07-24T23:27:00.006-04:00

to celebrate my weblog popularity i would like to offer a
"really cool item" from my house to whoever owns up to being the seventh hit

!!!no proof is necessary!!!

i will sign the item so that you know it "is authentic merchandise"
will also include a humorous drawing or maybe a 2 bar long song if you send a dollar to my house along with a short message stating which you want (i will give my address to the winner)

if you are not the seventh hit, send me between one and five dollars and i will send you an item whose "coolness" is directly proportional to the amount of money you send (i will give you my address if you ask for it)

add a dollar for the aforementioned extra

2009-07-24T23:07:00.003-04:00

checked my "statcounter" brand internet website summary page
now have seven hits
feel elated
also really good about myself

feel like maybe doing something kind to/for my fellow human beings
also feel mildly thirsty

2009-07-24T22:31:00.008-04:00

feel like maybe i will just post facebook chats for the rest of my life
feel like they have roughly the same content as my posts

Nick
Dear colin,
Hi
10:22pmcolin
hello
10:23pmNick
Greetings
10:23pmcolin
salutations
10:23pmNick
I made a very happy uke song today
10:23pmcolin
i want to hear it
we should jam
10:24pmNick
It's a joke song
Like a mexican kids song/tiny tim
10:24pmcolin
i like those
10:24pmNick
Mmmmm
I was gonna invite you over
But idunno what happened to my plan of calling you
10:25pmcolin
that happens to me moderately to fairly often
i spent today looking for a job but couldn't find one
10:26pmNick
Mmmm.. I'll help you!!!
10:26pmcolin
so instead i bought books and also a belle and sebastian live album
how can you help??????????????
10:26pmNick
Cool!
Which live performance!
10:27pmcolin
"the bbc sessions"
so it's like live in the studio
so it's good quality sound
10:27pmNick
Coo beans man coobeans
10:28pmNick
Mmmm today I made out with felt
10:28pmcolin
that is gross
10:29pmNick
Nah it was pretty soft
10:29pmcolin
feel like it would maybe get very soggy
but that the sogginess is directly proportional to the passion
10:29pmNick
Mmm
10:29pmcolin
feel like "don't go there"
is that a legitimate emotion
10:30pmNick
Mmmm...
10:30pmcolin
don't know
10:30pmNick
Haha
There's prolly some awesome vocab word for it
Like vauntant
10:31pmcolin
feel like my life would be better if i could articulate the feeling of "don't go there"

2009-07-24T22:15:00.003-04:00

hope that by linking this page to/from my various other web presences i can maybe increase the level to which i am a web presence by a moderate to high amount

want people to watch my videos
want people to befriend me
want people to compare their taste in music to my own, also befriend me maybe
want people to read my interior monologue/dialogue/which is the proper term

think that maybe i have done this before in a previous post (i have)

2009-07-24T21:48:00.002-04:00

just checked stat counter again
now have 6 hits
feel slightly better about myself
feel like i may be breaking the niche
maybe breaking it all the way through to the mnstrm
feel good again
feel urge to document my ups and downs in an increasingly repetitive manner, also fairly to relatively constantly

2009-07-24T21:40:00.004-04:00

my mom just tried to convince me that eating dinner was a meaningful and authentic experience
can't believe she tried to turn my favorite popular blog memes against me
can't believe my parents
wish that they got/understood me
feel odd/disappointed that i came from their stock

feel bad for their/my genes
feel like i will never break 5'8"///if i did i would be the tallest in my nuclear and also extended family
feel like shit
feel like maybe i won't be viewed as "hip" or that new "indie" thing due to my genetic predisposition toward large calves///i can't wear skinny jeans
:'(

feel sick inside
like maybe i could throw up in my mouth a little
except i have acid reflux (genes again)
and this is more or less normal behavior

don't know how i feel about this

2009-07-24T21:03:00.004-04:00

beginning to think that in order to get lots of readers i should tackle serious issues
also in order to retain readers i should make them feel involved
feel like i should include them in my posts
make them feel welcome, also comfortable and also as if their opinion is valuable

////////////////////

am currently experiencing a dilemma i feel is very deep and also universal/very common

i want to be happy, but i also want others to be happy
also want to not be a bad person
how do i do this

believe myself to be among the elite few who are self aware enough to address such an issue with unwavering confidence and also a proper level of seriousness, also unironically

feel like many to most other people are incapable of helping me out here
hope that maybe someone can help

how can i be happy
also not a jerk

2009-07-24T20:42:00.005-04:00

according to stat counter i have a total of 5 views so far
feel like this means:
-i have really reached an audience
-maybe i am making it big time
-maybe i have a blog future
-maybe i am bloggable afterall

feel like i am well on my way to becoming a blogosphere fixture
maybe i will become viral
maybe life is looking up

hope i am not just a niche though
hope i am universally appealing
feel like life is potentially looking up, but also potentially down
feel like i need some time alone

2009-07-24T00:45:00.006-04:00

"feel like this post is what 43-87% of my conversations entail"

when i am in college i think i will maybe act slightly to extremely different from the way in which i currently act, though i may possibly preserve the language/nature of my internal monologue so as to stay "true to myself"

think i maybe will go through a phase in which i unironically use words and phrases like "creative/artist/poet", "core of my being", and "sacrosanct" in order to refer to myself/activities and/or behaviors i endorse
think i maybe will go through a phase in which i "like a lot of grrls at once/they are not repulsed by or neutral towards me"
think maybe i will go through a phase in which i "am comfortable being who i am"/"am unashamed of my friends"/"learn to appreciate what i have"

feel like i will never talk to the people i meet/befriend in the third phase ever except maybe awkward exchanges in the local store or something

feel slightly to moderately "depressed" about the prospect of confronting relics from my phases and maybe having "awkward situations" that i "thought i grew out of" on my hands

2009-07-24T00:42:00.009-04:00

sometimes i think that i am a "very creative" person
but i don't feel comfortable referring to myself as such
maybe if i created more/more meaningful things i could feel comfortable
but am afraid of judgment/mildly to moderately harsh peer review/at what level of acclaim can you consider yourself a "poet/artist/other legitimate creative figure"

feel like maybe i should be more open about my feelings
but hide behind a cloak of ironic meta references, etc
feel like maybe openly referring to my own tactics will make people think i am using them, or maybe think about what i feel/say/do/think
feel like i don't know which feelings are mine and which i pretend to have
and, if i pretend to have them,
why would i do that///seems stupid

2009-07-24T00:40:00.004-04:00

wish i had more readers
wish they were people i don't know
wish this weblog were going places
wish i were going places (is it more grammatically correct to use "was"/don't know)
feel like i have no future
feel like i fall into being one kind of person in public interactions
when in reality i am not that person and also maybe kind of despise that kind of person just a little
feel like i am entombed in drywall, also do not have a way out///is that considered a legitimate feeling/metaphor

2009-07-24T00:30:00.010-04:00

don't really know what to think
don't really care about anything anymore
don't really feel like my life/my friends/my favorite activities mean very much to me///wish they did/i am not "pumped" or "stoked" for any event or other applicable noun associated with any person/place/thing anymore
don't really feel as if my definition of "meaningful experiences" is aligned with that of other people
don't really feel like "mating w/ famous and/or attractive people"
don't really feel like "getting so wasted"

just feel like "chillaxing" on the roof/other meaningful part of a typical house or apartment complex
or maybe in the woods
just feel like exchanging practical and tactical hellos with people i know moderately to very well

2009-07-24T00:27:00.001-04:00

feel like the last post "is dumb"
ok

2009-07-24T00:25:00.003-04:00

afraid/worried that there may be some confusion as to "the purpose of this blog"
afraid that people will think i am "trying to be funny/witty/maybe cute"
feel like clarification is necessary///am 35-67% sure that maybe this will not seem as necessary within the next 2-387 hours/will feel "dumb"

this blog just is my internal monologue/thoughts/i don't know an appropriate name, written down as it happens
don't think it actually means/tries to be anything/"it is not sentient anyway"

2009-07-23T18:53:00.006-04:00

just over a day of blogging
one follower
probably zero readers
maybe i should blog about what i am doing
and not how i feel

maybe

am currently in the process of feeling noncommittal
am feeling similar emotions to those i would feel if i were halfway over a fence, with one leg on each side
crotch/thigh pain excluded (is that an emotion)

am feeling ambivalent
is ambivalence different from neutrality
i don't know

2009-07-23T16:19:00.006-04:00

feel like maybe what i need to do to get readers is possibly drugs or something
feel like all the cool kids do/did them
feel like if i am cool then people will maybe read my weblog
feel like maybe i could become established as a permanent fixture in the weblogosphere if that happened

feel like the content and language of my posts is very repetitive

2009-07-23T10:05:00.001-04:00

addendum to below

feel like this follower is one of those people who follows everyone
feel less international/present in the blogosphere than i did previously
feel like maybe i will keep blogging about my deep insightful opinions
and also my emotions/how i "feel"

2009-07-23T09:59:00.002-04:00

hey i have a follower

his/her (i don't know which yet) name is
"opinion cubana"

i feel like i don't know any people from cuba
does this mean i have "broken through" to the blogosphere
does this mean i have gone international

feel like the future is maybe a little bit brighter

2009-07-23T09:36:00.000-04:00

feel like i'm losing my steam
feel like i should have a dedicated fanbase by now
feel very tired
feel vague desire to eat breakfast
feel less vague desire to sit in bed all day
feel like these desires should duke it out
feel like the less vague desire has a higher vitality/would win

feel like life would be better if i could generate miscellaneous memorable memes
feel like this is how i get more readers
feel like life would be better if i had more readers for intangible/unknown reasons

feel like getting my name out there
feel like maybe commenting on a popular weblog
feel like maybe commenting on "your" [miscellaneous possible readers] weblog

2009-07-23T09:30:00.002-04:00

(feel like maybe the key to becoming a fixture of the blogosphere is to generate actual/typical content/talk about life events/write something "creative")

-----------------

feel like i won't fit in at my college
because everyone else is a bro

feel like they like to party/drink
but i will drink alone or something, if at all

feel like i am not going to have very many friends
but maybe the education will make up for it

feel like the only one majoring/minoring in my fields of study
because everyone else is into sociology/psychology

feel like people who are into those fields
are probably pseudointellectuals

feel like their facebook pages list interests that aren't their real interests
but are calculated to fit into the sociology/psychology student archetype (ie the pseudointellectual)

feel like they say they like things like "people" or "life" or "philosophy"
or that they are "a walking contradiction"/"very deep"/"interesting"

feel like if i did this i would maybe mean it as a sarcastic jab at this type of person
but they are not self aware enough to be capable of this sort of thing

feel like i am too interesting/unique/self-aware for friends next year

2009-07-22T17:56:00.000-04:00

feel obligated to update this in order to justify my internet/blogosphere presence
feel like i should seize the day, but in blog form
is there a latin phrase for that
probably not
portmanteau proposition:
carpe bloggem
feel as if that was dumb/not very creative

feel like i maybe make alot of posts all the time

does quantity make up for quality?

i hope not since i have no readers
going on less than twelve hours since b(log)irth

how the hell do you do one of those crying frowny guys

:'(

is that it
feel like he has a mole

2009-07-22T17:48:00.003-04:00

hi
it's me again

don't know who i am talking to
considering using the popular blogging site "tweeter" but i don't have any followers
or an account for that matter

feel like i am underrepresented on the internet
feel like more people should be aware of me/my exploits

feel like more people should be aware of my likes
feel like more people should be aware of my dislikes
feel like more people should be aware of my facebook page that yields very little information

wish that people would be intrigued by the cryptic personal info section on the aforementioned facebook page
maybe acknowledge my blogger presence

feel tired
feel neutral
feel neutral re neutrality

feel like i probably feel like this all the time
feel neutral re the above statement

2009-07-22T17:47:00.000-04:00

less than a day into blogging
still no followers
feel very emotional
but also nondescript/neutral
feel very tired
maybe this is what the 21st century should feel like
do millenials feel emotions
don't know

feel like i need some followers
feel like that isn't a legitimate emotion

feel like it is now

2009-07-22T15:15:00.001-04:00

i feel so lethargic
i want to roller blade
i feel like if i had roller blades
then i could basically do whatever (i want to do)
except i'm lethargic so i don't want to do anything

i feel tired
i want a job
i need a job
i wish i had a job
i just want to have like a million dollars
i don't know what i would buy
probably a more effective blogosphere presence